Welcome! My name is Daniel Lim Jhao Jian. Here is where I share my experience, knowledge and ideas. You are welcome to leave comments and follow my blog. You are free to copy anything from this blog. Please recommend this blog to your friends.

Sunday, 5 June 2011

From Best Friend to Enemy

Just think and see, is it possible that someone, who was once your good friend, or even your best friend, turned to become your enemy? Well, of course, this is possible, in this world everything is possible, although this may be uncommon. And, yet it is this sentence 'Everything is possible' which causes this to happen on me. Don't understand what I mean? Read on this post and you will understand.

When I was in Form 2, I was very close to someone, and we were together at most times in school. However, starting from the latter half of Form 3 onwards, we were no longer friends anymore, instead, we became enemies. Are you curious of what had happened between us, that causes us, which were once very good friends, to become enemies? I am telling the whole case here now.

The reason is simple, I chose not to friend with him anymore, and I take him as my enemy, although at first he still wants to friend with me. Why? There are 4 main reasons and several side reasons of why I do not want to friend with him. What is his name? Well, I do not want to mention his name at all in this post, to avoid unnecessary arguments. Just call him as Mr X, as the letter 'X' is used to represent an unknown in Mathematics, and since he loves Mac OS X. Besides, for any other other people related to this case, I will use a short form to represent their names. Before I mention why we stopped being friends, first I would like to mention about how we knew each other, and how we became good friends.

This dates back to January 2008. At that time, I just entered Form 1. I studied in SMK Sultan Badlishah in class 1A13. He wasn't in my class. About three weeks later, all Form 1 students were asked to choose their elective option in the Living Skills subject, either KT, ERT or PK. I chose KT, but class 1A13 only had PK. Therefore, I had to shift to another class, that is 1A11, on 28 January 2008. Many other students had to change class as well. After entering class 1A11, I began to know him. He was in that class. He started the first conversation with me by asking me about my family and me. Then, we started to be friends. I often talked to him. However, he was not my best friend at that time, but he was only my 3rd best friend. My best friend is MA, and my second best friend is AF. I did not sit with him in class as well, instead I sit with MA. For the rest of the year 2008, we did not become best friends, and he remained to be my 3rd best friend.

Then, on year 2009, we entered Form 2. Everyone in my class in the previous year remained in the same class. All 1A11 students entered the class 2A10. This time, I chose to sit with MA again. Mr X sit in front of me. Because of that, I had more chance to talk to Mr X. As a result, we became better friends. At January 2009, he was still my 3rd best friend. Then, in February one day before the one week Chinese New Year school holiday, I followed him to take part in a chess competition. During the competition, I talked to him a lot. Earlier I also gave him my handphone number. Then, one night during the Chinese New Year, he telephoned me and talked to me for a while. Afther the Chinese New Year holiday, we became very good friends. At first, from February to March 2009, I still took him as my 3rd best friend. Then, in March, our friendship became closer.

At that time, I faced a problem. One of my Chinese friend liked to sit with me in the canteen during recess. However, he liked to eat slowly. Everytime when I finish my meal first, he would ask me to wait for him. I did not know how to reject. As he ate slowly everytime, I always had to be late for class. I really disliked that. When Mr X knew my problem, he invited me to eat with him behind the school's bookshop during recess everyday. By this way, I would not face the problem stated above anymore. Besides that, our teacher rearranged the tables in my class. Initially, only 2 tables were connected together but after the rearrangement there were 3 tables connected together. He sat on my left, while MA sat on my right. Because of that, we became closer. I started taking him as my 2nd best friend replacing AF, while MA was still my best friend.

As the time goes on, we became even closer. He would phone me almost everyday just to ask some simple things, because he wanted to talk to me. We also shared our problems together. During recess, we ate together. During ICT class, we shared the same computer. When we go anywhere in school, we were often seen together. Starting from May until 10 August 2009, I started taking him as my best friend, replacing MA. He also took me as his best friend. During that period, we were closest to each other.

Now, I am explaining why I stopped to friend with him. As I stated above, there are 4 main factors and several side factors. I will explain the main factors first. The first incident happened on August 2009, the second on February 2010, the third on May 2010 and the fourth on August 2010. After the first incident, he was no longer my best friend but only my 2nd best friend. After the second incident, he was no longer my good friend but only my normal friend. After the third one, he was no longer my friend. After the fourth incident, he became my enemy. Our friendship started having problems beginning 11 August 2009 and our friendship ended completely at one year later, August 2010.

Main Reason 1: H1N1 tragedy
On August 2009, a tragedy happened. The tragedy is the H1N1. The H1N1 influenza started on May 2009 until September 2009. Among that period, the H1N1 is the most serious on August 2009, because it was widely spreading in Malaysia, and it was spread into my town, Kulim. On 10 August 2009 (Monday), Mr X did not go to school. Then on the morning of the second day, 11 August 2009 (Tuesday), he phoned me. He told me that he did not go to school yesterday because he was sick. I hoped that he won't be going to school on that day but he told me that he would be going to school. My grandparents asked me what he said to me. Usually, if I kept it secret, they won't blame me or force me to say. However, on that day I was silly and I just told them exactly. After hearing what I said, they were worried that he might spread his sickness to me. They told me to keep away from him but I lied to them saying that he wouldn't be going to school. I regretted telling them about it. On that day, at once after I reached school, my Chinese friend told me that someone in school got infected with H1N1. During the assembly, the teacher announced that and gave each of us a mask. Then, I saw Mr X. In class, Mr X stayed quite close to me. I did not keep away from him because I was afraid that he might get insulted. Then, a teacher came to my class and asked all those who were sick to go home. A few went home but Mr X did not. I said to everyone "If you are sick better go home and don't pretend, if you pretend your repay is you will get H1N1 !" . Mr X suddenly showed me his Panadol and said to me "I never knew you will curse me. I thought you are my friend". I was unhappy with that but I just apologized. Based on what I think, he should go back and not blame me instead, as this was instructed by the teacher. Throughout that day, I stayed quite close to him and I did not wear the mask all the time as it was uncomfortable. I was not worried of getting infected, as long as my grandparents don't see me with him. When the school is over, I walked quickly in front of him so that my grandparents won't see him with me. As I walked out of the school gate, I saw him stopping at the gate to talk to one of his other friend. I was relieved and I just walked to my grandfather's car. Out of my expectation, he just stopped at the gate for a few seconds and continued walking. He called me a few times from the back. I ignored him, quickly reached my grandparent's car and opened the door. At that time, he was already beside me. He touched me and said goodbye before he walked away. My grandfather saw that. He was worried, although he did not blame me. I was unhappy about Mr X for what he did, as that made my grandparents worry. That night, I used my newly-bought electronic dictionary. Earlier I had stored the email addresses of my friends in it. When I browsed through the addresses, I saw his email. He had 4 emails, Gmail, Yahoo, Hotmail and Youtube. Except for Yahoo, all his other emails had the same user name. I suddenly felt annoyed with his Yahoo email address and felt like changing the address so that it had the same username with the others. I don't know why I felt annoyed but I think it was because I was unhappy with Mr X. On the next day, 12 August 2009 (Wednesday), he did not go to school again. MA also did not go to school. As I was sitting alone, I asked my friends AFZ and AF to sit with me. I asked AFZ to changed Mr X's Yahoo username and told him Mr X's password. AF heard that and told Mr X about that. Mr X was unhappy about me because of that. On 13 August 2009 (Thursday), I felt a bit tired and drowsy in school. At home, I took a long bath because I could not 'concentrate' on taking bath. I tried my very best to finish my dinner so that my grandparents won't know that I was sick. After dinner, I lied down. My grandmother saw that and felt my forehead. She did not say a thing but walked out of the room to tell my grandfather that my forehead was warm. Immediately they took me to see a doctor. I expect my fever to be around 37.5 C as my forehead was not very warm, and my vision is not blurred. Usually when I had a high fever I could not see things very clearly. However, the doctor said my fever is 39 C. He said that I was unlikely to get H1N1 because my breathing is normal but he gave many precautions. My grandfather suspected that I had H1N1 because of the precautions given and the high fever. On the following week (16 August - 20 August) there was an school exam. I could not study for it as I was sick. I remembered that Mr X told me that his fever was also around 39 C. My grandfather phoned him to ask him about that but he said that his fever was only around 37.4 C. I think that Mr X lied. On the next day, 14 August 2009, they took me to see another better doctor. This doctor use a more accurate device and said that my fever was only 37.5 C. My grandparents and I were relieved. I recovered on 19 August 2009. However, I did not prepare well for the exam and could not do well for it. When the results came out, I only got 6A and 2B. The subjects I got B are Chinese and Geography. I had no time to study Geography and I could not write my Chinese essay well due to my sickness. My position is 64 in form and 10 in class. Previously, I got 2nd in form and 1st in class. This was really a great fall for me. I put the blame on Mr X, because if he did not go to school when he was sick and spread his sickness to me, I wouldn't have fell sick and scored badly in my exam. It must be him who spread the sickness to me because no one else who was close to be fell sick. After this, he was no longer my best friend, but was my 2nd best friend. MA became my best friend again.

Main Reason 2: English Oral Test Group Leader Issue
At February 2010, our English teacher carried out an oral test. That oral test was the only oral test for the year 2010 and it was held in groups. The teacher divided us into 6 groups. Our teacher did not want us to choose our group members so she asked Mr X to divide the students in our class into 6 groups and make sure that each group has boys and girls from different races. She also asked Mr X to choose the leader for each group. There are five top students in our class who usually got top 5 in earlier exams. The 5 students are me, Mr X, OJK, JV and NVP. Mr X chose himself, OJK, JV and NVP to be the group leaders for 4 of the 6 groups. However, he did not chose me to be the leader of any groups. Instead, he placed me in his group where he was the leader. By right, I was qualified to be a group leader as well. For the 2 remaining groups, he chose two other students, MTG and RB to be the leader. MTG was quite clever and well-disciplined but RB was only average and not very-well disciplined. Therefore, I should be the group leader of RB's group. I knew that Mr X did that because he wanted to be in the same group with me, but he could have done this by letting me be the leader of his group, while he didn't have to be leader. He was already a prefect and the leader of several clubs and societies, so what's wrong to give up just for once. Meanwhile, I was only the treasurer of my class. He should have gave me a chance. So, in my opinion, he was selfish because he wanted to be the leader, and yet wanted me to be with him. I really wanted to be a leader for once. As a leader, he also did not prepare well for the oral test. After this incident, I no longer took him as my good friend but only my normal friend. I also did not join his group for preparation and only joined his group for the oral test. I got 28/30 in the oral test.

Main Reason 3: Facebook Argument
One night in May 2010, my mother telephoned me. She told me that KPP, my former classmate now in SMJK Chio Min, posted a photo of all my primary school classmates on Facebook, with me in it. I was interested to see it, so I opened up Facebook on the next day. I saw the photo and some comments. The first comment written my a Chio Min student was 'I really missed that. How I wish we could be together again'. Another Chio Min student commented 'We could meet last year during Daniel's party. But I don't know why he did not make a party this year'. DG, a student in my school (SMKSB) replied 'Because Daniel got Mr X already. He had forgotten you all' . Then MXY, another SMKSB student replied 'Daniel is so close to Mr X. They always hold hands when they walked everywhere' . I was afraid that the Chio Min students might misunderstood, so I replied 'Mr X is only my friend, not my gay partner, MXY like him instead.' Then TWS, a SMKSB students replied 'I support Daniel. What he said was right.' Then a Chio Min student replied in Chinese 'How did you know? Or is it because you and Mr X know each other's feelings?' This comment was written in Chinese except for the word 'Mr X'. I saw all those comments and did not reply. Then, I shut down my computer. A short while later, Mr X telephoned me and kept on asking 'What is happening on Facebook? Is it true that MXY likes me? They said that we are gay?' When I commented on the photo, Facebook displayed on the home page 'Daniel commented on XXX's photo.'. Mr X must have clicked on the link and saw the comments. I told Mr X to ask DG and MXY if he wanted to know what happened and I said I was just joking that MXY liked him. On the next day in school, he still seemed not satisfied and asked me the same questions again. He said DG refused to tell him what happened. I could not tell him what happened as I was not sure too. He kept on asking me, DG and MXY until I could not stand anymore. I said to him 'I will ban you from Facebook!'. He said 'Come on!'. Then, we had a minor quarrel. In my opinion, he should not have opened the photo since it had nothing to do with him and KPP wasn't his friend. That evening, he telephoned me again and asked the same thing again. This time he asked the meaning of the comment written in Chinese as above. He could not understand it except for the word 'Mr X'. I saw the comment but I forgot what it was so I told him I don't know. He did not believe me. On the next day, he again asked me the same things. I ignored him. He told a friend that he asked all these because his father wanted to know. I also told my friends that I won't mind losing him as a friend. Then he tried to apologize to me and wanted me to friend with him again. I still ignored him. That evening, he phoned me and apologized. He said he had known the whole incident through TWS. I agreed to forgive him. After that, we talked to each other again like earlier. However, I only took him as my classmate but not my friend anymore. For this incident, I think that everybody was wrong, including me myself. However, my intention of saying MXY liked him is to let the Chio Min students believe that he wasn't my gay partner. It would be better for people to say someone liked Mr X than people saying that he was gay. However, he put the blame on me for writing that. If he did not blame me, he wouldn't have kept on asking me so many questions regarding the case. So, I no longer took him as a friend but only my classmate.

Main Reason 4: Science Lab Issue
One day in August 2010, during the Science lesson, we went to the Science lab. Our teacher gave us back our Science examination paper. Due to some marking errors, many people including me could get extra marks. Most people including me got only 1 extra mark but some got 2 extra marks. However, Mr X got 3 extra marks. I wanted to find out why so I took his paper and see. He said to me 'Why are you looking at my paper without my permission? If you are so impolite I won't want to let you see at all.' I still saw his paper and knew why he got 3 extra marks. I was unhappy with him. Although it was my mistake, he had done the same thing many times to me earlier. In Form 2, whenever he forgot to bring his textbook, he would take mine and put on his table without telling me, and as a result I had no textbook to see when my teacher was teaching. I never scolded him. Now, I had just done it to him once and he scolded me. On the next day, it was Science period again and we again went to the Science lab. Out teacher asked us to finish an exercise between 30 minutes. Mr X said 'There are so many questions. It is impossible to finish it in 30 minutes'. In my opinion, he should have said 'I will try' instead of that. So I answered him back 'In this world everything is possible!' He replied 'Humans have limited ability. Only the God has unlimited ability'. Everybody in the lab could hear that. I was unhappy with him. This explains what I wrote in the beginning of this post. Later, after we had completed the exercise, our teacher discussed the answers. The Science teacher asked all of us to give the answers. One of the question was 'Name the object in the picture above.' The answer was 'satelite'. Almost everyone in class gave the answer as 'satellite'. However, Mr X gave the answer as 'solar-powered satellite'. He always had the habit of making his answer as long as possible. I did not like that because it was rather a way of showing-off. So, I said 'The answer is satelite. No need to write solar-powered'. He replied me 'The picture shows a solar panel on the satelite. Are you blind? Don't you see it?'. I was very annoyed with him. Later, someone asked the teacher 'Is space shuttle a spacecraft?'. The teacher said yes. Then, I asked 'Rocket is also a spacecraft, right?' Immediately Mr X answered 'No'. But, the teacher said 'Yes'. Mr X still insisted that the answer was 'No'. Even the teacher was unhappy with him. So I said to Mr X 'Teacher already said yes'. Mr X replied 'You can't take a rocket like a spacecraft, if you do so then you would be bombed to death!'. I was even more annoyed. Due to the several incidents which all happened in the Science lab, I completely ended my friendship with Mr X and started to take him as my enemy. I never talked to him again. This lasts on until now.

Besides the 4 main reasons above, there are also several side reasons on why I do not want to friend with him. These are the side reasons:

1. Over-concerned about hair-style
Mr X was very concerned about his hair-style. He often told me that many of his friends and teachers disliked his hair-style, but he himself thought that there was nothing wrong with his hairstyle. As a result, he hated his hair but he was very stubborn and refused to change it. He would also take his comb everywhere. To me, boys should not be too concerned about their hair style.

2. Lacks self-confidence and depressed
Mr X was not confident with himself. He would often think that he was not clever, no one likes him, not handsome and others. Therefore, he was always unhappy and depressed. To me, he should always think positively.

3. Sharing too many problems with me
Mr X would often share his problems with me, especially his love problems. At first I was happy to share his problems. But after sharing too many of his problems, I felt burdened. He also seldom accepted by advices about his problems. Although he also shared my problems but not as many as I shared his.

4. Telephoning non-stop
Mr X would telephone me almost everyday. Most of the time he only asked things like what is the homework, what is the time table and so on. He usually telephoned my house telephone so I could not just ignore the phone ringing because it might be someone else phoning. I really regretted giving him my house telephone. To me, he should phone only when necessary.

5. Monopoly of competitions and leaders
Mr X wanted to take part in every competition. He would do anything to enter the competition. He also wanted to be a leader of everything. Actually, he had represented the school for many competitions and was holding positions in several clubs and societies. To me, he should give others a chance and not always wanting to take part in all competitions.

6. Anti-blog
At 4 August 2009, he discovered a blog made by the girls of our school. He said that the name of the blog was something morally not right. So, he made another blog to go against that blog. However, he was afraid that the girls knew that he did that so he used my email to create that blog. He told me that only after doing so. At first I did not feel unhappy but later I began to worry that my popularity would be affected. To me, if he wanted to oppose that blog, he should not have felt afraid and should use his own email address.

7. Very sensitive
Mr X was a very sensitive person. Sometimes he would think that I no longer wanted to friend with him although it was just a little thing. Once, my friend MA asked me to help him to practice his oral test. Mr X said something to me then realized that I was helping MA to practice his oral. Mr X apologized for disturbing. However, after apologizing Mr X continued talking, so I ignored Mr X to avoid disturbing MA. Just because of that, Mr X thought I did not want to friend with him anymore.

8. Computer lab
Mr X would always share the same computer with me in the computer lab during the ICT lesson. However, he usually used the computer most of the time. I only had the chance to use the computer very little. This became worse after he set up his Tagged account. He would often want to check his Tagged account. I was the one who set up a Tagged account for him after he received an invitation to join Tagged. I really regretted doing that.

9. Support of PIBG donation
Since before I entered SMKSB, the school would collect RM25 from every student every year for the PIBG (Persatuan Ibu-bapa & Guru) donation. Many students and I thought that it was a bit too much and that would burden our family. At 2010, the school suggested increasing the donation to RM50. Many students and I were against that. However, Mr X agreed with that, saying we should 'follow the river' instead of 'against the river'.

10. Answering question
Whenever a classmate or teacher asked him a question, he would make the answer as long as possible, but after saying a lot most people could not really understand what he said. He also liked to give a strange and unusual answer.

11. Form 1 Malay Oral Test
On May 2008 when I was in Form 1, we had an oral test for the Malay subject. There were 36 students in our class. Our Malay teacher wrote the numbers 1 to 36 in 36 sheets of folded small papers, then she put the papers in a container. All students are asked to pick one of the papers. The number written on the paper picked determines the order in which students take the oral test. For example, the student who got the number 12 will be the 12th person to take the oral test. Unfortunately, I got the number 5, so I would be the 5th student to take the oral test. In the previous oral test, I was the 3rd person. I think that it is not fair because it depends entirely on luck, and everytime I was the first few students to take the oral test. So, I cheated by adding a number 2 in front, making the number 25. The student who actually picked the number 25 was Mr X. I told Mr X that the teacher made a mistake, and as a result that were two number 25. Although he did not see me cheating, he was very sure that I cheated. Later, the teacher distributed a name list and asked all of us to write down the number we got. I wrote number 25. The teacher said that on the first day of the oral test, the first 8 students would do the oral test. I did not make any preparations for the first day because I had written number 25. However, on the first day of the oral test, I noticed that on the name list, my number had been changed from 25 to 5. Obviously it was Mr X who did that. I told the teacher that my number was 25 but Mr X told the teacher that I cheated by changing 5 to 25. The teacher believed Mr X and as a result I was forced to do the oral test on that day without any preparations. I could not speak well and my marks were low. In this case, although I cheated, but it was because at that time I could not speak well in Malay so I need more preparation time. Mr X was a prefect and he could speak very well, even without preparation. Additionally, during the previous oral test he was the last few students to do the oral test, while I was the 3rd person. So, he should have given way to and tolerated with me. I only got 16/30 for that oral test. The marks for that oral test was carried forward to Form 3. Luckily during PMR 2010 the marks for oral were not included, otherwise I might fail to get A in Malay, then I would not get 8A for PMR. Mr X nearly ruined my PMR results.

12. Treasure-hunt competition
At 14 October 2010 after my PMR, the school had organised several activities for the Form 3 students. One of the activities was the Treasure Hunt competition. I wanted to take part in the Treasure Hunt competition. My friend AF was in charge of the name list. I asked AF to write down my name for the Treasure Hunt competition. Each class had to send 5 students for the Treasure Hunt competition. There were 4 Malay girls taking part in the Treasure Hunt competition. I wanted to be the 5th participant for the competition. However, the 4 Malay girls did not want me to take part because I had already took part in another 2 competitions. They said that it was not fair for me to take part in so many competitions. Therefore, AF wanted to remove my name. However, Mr X also took part in 3 competitions. So, I argued "Mr X also take part in 3 competitions, why don't you remove his name?". I insisted that if AF were to remove my name, he must also remove Mr X's name from one of the competitions he took part in. Mr X was angry and he asked me 'Where is the proof?' Another Malay boy, AFZ was angry with me because he thought that I was accusing Mr X. The Malay girls were also angry because I insisted in taking part in the Treasure Hunt competition. However, I still refused to give up. A week later, AFZ told me that the 4 Malay girls have chosen AF instead for me as the 5th participant for the Treasure Hunt competiton. When I ask the Malay girls about that, they said that Mr X had told our form teacher that the they are not suitable to take part in the Treasure Hunt Competition. They were angry with Mr X so they looked for our form teacher. The form teacher supported the 4 Malay girls. When the form teacher asked about the 5th participant, the 4 Malay girls called me but I ignored them because I was playing chess with someone and did not know what was going on. Therefore, they chose AF instead of me. I then looked for the form teacher and told her that I had given my name for the Treasure Hunt competition first before AF. The teacher agreed to let me take part. The 4 Malay girls also agreed and AF was willing to give up to let me take part. I took part in the Treasure Hunt competition with the 4 Malay girls. For this incident, I blamed Mr X because he should not have blamed me just because I said that he took part in 3 competitions since it was a truth. I also blamed Mr X for telling the form teacher that the 4 Malay girls are not suitable to take part in the competition, and as a result AF nearly replaced me to take part in the competition.

Due to the reasons stated above, I had taken several actions against Mr X. The actions are:

1. I blocked one of his Facebook account.
2. I chose to sit with MA instead of Mr X in Form 3.
3. Whenever there was ICT class (during 2009), I would reserve 2 computers, one for me and one for him. With this, I did not have to share with him. 
4. On February 2010, I removed the blog he created with my email and replaced it with a blog of my class (
5. In Form 3, when I was asked to suggest another 3 persons to join the Mathematics Quiz, I did not suggest him. However, this failed to stop him from taking part in that quiz.
6. I refused to sit with him during the Form 3 night class.
7. I did not do any of the Form 3 courseworks with Mr X as we did in Form 2. I also did not give him a copy of my courseworks.
8. I refused to talk to him after August 2010.

So, I think now you should have known why I no longer friend with Mr X. We won't be friends anymore, not now, not in the near future and probably never will at all. This article is really long, and it is like a chapter in the History textbook. Thanks for your patience in reading this!

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