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Welcome! My name is Daniel Lim Jhao Jian. Here is where I share my experience, knowledge and ideas. You are welcome to leave comments and follow my blog. You are free to copy anything from this blog. Please recommend this blog to your friends.


Friday, 5 August 2016

My Social Life

NOTE: This is an ongoing article and I will update it from time to time.

LAST UPDATED: 13 May 2017

When I was in primary school, I and my classmates were in the same class from Standard 2 until Standard 6. During that 5 years, I was quite close to most of my classmates and they were the only friends I had. In 2005, 2006 and 2007, I organised my birthday party at my house and I invited my classmates. Many of them attended and we really enjoyed it. Sometimes, we played board games in school when we were free, but the strict rules at my school limited that.

After completing primary school in late 2007, most of my classmates chose to study in SMJK Chio Min. However, my family members preferred that I study in SMK Sultan Badlishah, because it had better results in public examinations and it was only open to students who obtained straight A in UPSR. At that time, I actually wanted to choose SMJK Chio Min as I wanted to continue studying together with my primary school friends, but I eventually chose SMK Sultan Badlishah because I did not want to disappoint my family members. I felt sad having to separate with my primary school friends.

In January 2008, I started studying at SMK Sultan Badlishah. Only about 5 of my primary school friends came to study at SMK Sultan Badlishah. All of them were girls and none of them were very close to me previously. I had problems with my social life in secondary school. I made a few friends in class since my first few days in school, but I did not go and be friends with my other classmates or students from other classes. Worst of all, I sometimes quarrelled with some of the girls in my class.

On 5 April 2008, I organised my 13th birthday party. I invited many of my primary school friends, but not my secondary school friends as I was not close to them. During the party, I could meet and talk to my primary school friends and I felt happy about that. They also thanked me for making this possible through my birthday party. I told myself that I must organise another party in the following year.

Over the following months, due to my excellent results in school examinations, my popularity in secondary school greatly increased and many students from all classes knew me. Everywhere I walked, there would be girls from other classes saying hi to me and that made me feel proud of myself. Despite that, I was still close to only a few friends. I was quite quiet and passive in school. In fact, my teacher complained about that to my parents twice during the Parents' Day.

Towards the end of 2008, there was some improvement in my relationship with the girls in my class. Then in early 2009, I started becoming friends with them. In February 2009, I became very close to one of my friend who was very popular in school. Through him, I knew more people from other classes and became friends with them. Meanwhile, my popularity in school continued to increase. I made it a point to be friends with every one who said hi to me. As a result, the number of friends I had increased greatly.

On 4 April 2009, I once again organised my birthday party. I again invited many of my primary school friends. This time, I also invited some of my secondary school friends. However, during the party I had the feeling that my primary school friends did not want to talk to me that much compared to previously and they seemed to be more interested in playing their mobile phones. I realised that we were not that close anymore after being separated for more than 1 year. Therefore, I decided that my most important friends should be my secondary school friends instead of my primary school friends. I also decided not to organise my birthday party in the following year.

By late 2009, I had many friends in secondary school and I was no longer quiet. I and my classmates remained in the same class from 2008 to 2010. In 2010, I became closer to more of my friends, including those that I was not very close to previously. As a result, I started talking to my friends a lot. I became quite talkative till my teacher wanted to change my seat on a few occasions. However, for some reason, my popularity in school had been declining at that time. On 15 November 2010, I and my classmates went to Kulim Landmark Central to celebrate our end of lower secondary. That was the first and only time I had an outing with them.

In January 2011, I entered Form 4 which is upper secondary. My school reallocated every student into different classes. I was changed to a new class and only a few of my lower secondary classmates were in the same class as me. I felt a bit sad about that, but not too sad since I was still in the same school as my other lower secondary classmates. I became friends with my upper secondary classmates quite easily because I had known many of them previously. I still stayed in touch with my lower secondary classmates. Compared to my lower secondary classmates, my upper secondary classmates were less active and more quiet.

On 16 April 2011, I organised my 16th birthday party, due to requests from a few of my primary school friends. I invited many of my primary school and secondary school friends. Sadly, not many of my primary school friends attended it. In addition, those who attended did not talk to me much, instead they preferred to talk among themselves. Worst of all, among those who did not attend, many of them stated that they 'most likely will attend' and a few stated that they 'definitely will attend' on the RSVP form I gave them. This party was not interesting and there was a lot of wasted food. I was very disappointed with my primary school friends. As a result, I decided to ditch most of them and only consider my secondary school friends to be my important friends from then on.

In June 2011, I set myself the target of getting straight A+ in SPM in order to get the JPA scholarship. Since then, I had been studying very hard and I focused a lot on my studies. Consequently, I did not pay much attention to my relationship with my upper secondary classmates, so I did not become very close to them. In fact, at that time I considered myself a nerd and I was proud about that. When I entered Form 5 in January 2012, I and my upper secondary classmates remained in the same class.

On 11 July 2012, an incident happened which made me realised that apart from my studies my friends are also important and I should make the most out of every moment I had with them since we would be separated in a few months time. After that incident, I became much closer to my upper secondary classmates. I often gave them help in the studies since the SPM examination was approaching. I treasured my every moment in school with them, but time seemed to pass so quickly. After the SPM in November 2012, we were separated. I felt very sad about that and I missed them very much. I wanted to have outings with them at that time, unfortunately, I did not make an effort to organise one, and none of them did either.

In January 2013, I started studying A Level at Taylor's College Subang Jaya (TCSJ). I actually preferred studying Matriculation, but I had to study A Level because I was not confident of getting the offer for Matriculation after I thought that I screwed up the SPM. None of my secondary school friends studied at TCSJ at that time. The environment at TCSJ is very different compared to secondary school and I did not like college life. I also felt different from my college classmates as they were from Subang Jaya while I was from Kulim. 

As a result, I made only a few friends in college and I was quite antisocial. I was only close to my few friends and I talked very little to my other classmates. I also often had lunch alone. For the group assignment of the MPW Moral Education subject, I was put in the same group with a few classmates whom I was not close to. Consequently, I refused to participate in the assignment, which later caused me to fail the subject.

As time went on, I began to enjoy college life, mainly due to the excellent facilities, lenient rules and low stress at TCSJ. In fact, I felt that A Level was a better choice for me compared to Matriculation. In April 2013, there had been some improvement to my social life in college. I became closer to my friends and I also talked to more of my classmates. Starting from May 2013, I often went for lunch with my few close friends instead of alone. On 7 June 2013, for the first time I had lunch with my college classmates in a large group.

I had the opportunity to meet up with my secondary school friends when I went back to my secondary school to get my SPM results in March 2013 and to receive the award for getting straight A in SPM in May 2013. I was hoping to continue meeting them in the future. During my college holidays in June 2013, I took the initiative to organise an outing with my upper secondary classmates. However, the response from them was not quite positive. Some did not respond at all while a few left the group conversation without responding. Eventually, only 3 of them turned up. We had lunch at Kulim Landmark Central. That was the last time we met.

In July 2013, a few of my secondary school friends joined the July intake of A Level at TCSJ and I was happy to see them. At that time, my relationship with my college classmates further improved. I talked more to many of them. I also went for lunch with them in a large group quite often. On 31 July 2013, an important incident happened. I confessed to many of my college classmates about my love story in secondary school which aroused their interest, causing our conversation to last very long. As a result, they knew about me much more and I realised that I could actually communicate with them quite well. That incident brought me became much closer to them compared to previously.

In August 2013, there was 1 week holiday, and then 3 weeks of college examination, followed by another 1 week of holiday. During the holidays, I wanted to meet up with my secondary school friends again, but none of them were free. By September 2013, I was very close to my college friends and I was no longer antisocial. Because of that, I felt that college life was even more interesting than before. Through my secondary school friends who were studying at TCSJ, I knew some of their classmates. However, apart from that, I did not know any student from other classes, because the environment at TCSJ did not foster much interaction between students from different classes.

On 11 November 2013, I had an outing with my college friends for the first time. We went to Secrets of Louisiana for lunch. Then on 9 December 2013, another incident happened. I helped one of my college friends to carry her books and she called me a gentleman. That incident made me realise that I still could give my college friends a good impression about me even though I was quite antisocial previously. After that incident, I started considering my college friends to be my most important friends, replacing my secondary school friends. It had been quite some time since I last contacted my secondary school friends as I was busy revising for my AS Level examination earlier.

From 16 to 18 December 2013, I and my college friends went on a holiday trip to Singapore. It was an interesting trip, even though some incidents happened. That trip made me value my friendship with them even more. During my holidays in late December 2013, some of my secondary school friends talked about meeting up. Again, very few responded to the conversation and this time I did not respond too.

In the first half of 2014, I treasured every moment I had with my friends in college and I made the most out of it, since we would be separated after a few months. I had lunch with my college friends almost every day, and we had outings occasionally. I also gave them help in their studies quite often. At that time, I had considered my secondary school friends who studied at TCSJ to be my college friends as well, so they were also my most important friends.

In May 2014 during my A2 Level examination, I felt sad that the exam was going to end because I would be separated with my college friends after that. It turned out that I was thinking too negatively. During the 4 months after the examination, I and my college friends had outings quite often, so we were not actually separated. We went on a holiday trip to Redang Island from 16 to 18 July 2014. That trip is one of the most interesting trips I had. We continued meeting up until September 2014 and those 4 months were very interesting for me.

In September 2014, I started studying MBBS at Newcastle University Medicine (NUMed) Malaysia. I felt sad that I would not be meeting my college friends for quite some time, but I was sure that we would continue meeting up in the future whenever there is break. At NUMed, I told myself that I should not repeat the same mistake of being antisocial. I made some effort to get to know the students in my seminar group as well as some students in other groups.

I chose not to attend the orientation events organised by the seniors because I was worried that the seniors might disturb me by asking me to do weird things. Despite that, I did not have problems getting to know other students because the environment at NUMed encourages interaction between students. One of my housemate was quite popular in university. Through him, I got to know his friends, some of them were also very popular. Soon, I became friends with every one in my seminar group and many students in other groups. During the Progress 1 exam in November 2014, I scored excellent results and was ranked 9 in my cohort. That helped make more students in my university know me.

On 26 November 2014, I and my group mates celebrated the birthday of someone in our group. During the celebration, we played the 'Truth and dare' game, where I confessed to my group mates about my love story. That incident brought us closer together. As a result, I started considering my university friends to be my most important friends along with my college friends. Meanwhile, I ditched most of my secondary school friends since I had not kept in touch with them for a long time, except for those few who studied at TCSJ.

On 11 December 2014, I had an outing with my university group mates for the first time. We had breakfast at Tea Garden in Bukit Indah. In the first half of 2015, I and my group mates had several outings. We also celebrated the birthdays of almost every one in our group including me. During the university breaks in December 2014 and April 2015, I met up with some of my college friends. In June 2015, I completed Stage 1 of MBBS successfully. During my 4 month break at that time, I and my college friends met up several times.

In September 2015, I began Stage 2 of MBBS. In the previous years, there were some changes in the seminar groups, where 1 or 2 students in every group were moved to another group. At that time, I was quite worried of being moved to another group. In turned out that for my year, there was no change at all for every seminar group, thanks to the fact that very few students failed Stage 1. I was happy that I could remain in the same group with my group mates.

From late 2015 until the first half of 2016, I occasionally had outings with my university friends, just like in Stage 1. During my breaks in December 2015 and April 2016, I again met my college friends. Starting from April 2016, I often sat with my friends when I had lunch in my university's cafeteria and talked to them while eating. That brought me even closer to my university friends. In June 2016, I successfully completed Stage 2. Before going back for the break, I and my university friends went to watch movie together. During the 3 month break, I and my college friends met up many times. We were still very close even though we had separated for 2 years.

In late August 2016, I began Stage 3 of MBBS which is the clinical year. My university completely reallocated every student into different groups. As a result, I was no longer in the same group as my group mates during Stage 1 and 2, so I felt sad about that. However, we are still studying in the same university, so we can still continue to meet and keep in touch with each other. The first semester of Stage 3 which is Foundations of Clinical Practice (FoCP) consisted of 2 phases, System Based Weeks (SBW) and Hospital Based Weeks (HBW).

The SBW began in mid September 2016. For the SBW, I was in Clinical Group (CG) 3. Every student in CG 1 to 4 were allocated the Batu Pahat hospital. All of us travelled to Batu Pahat together and stayed in the same hotel, so we were often together as a large group. I did not know many of my CG 3 group mates before Stage 3, but the good thing was that my best friend in NUMed was also in CG 3. On the other hand, I had previously known many of the students in CG 1 & 2.

In Batu Pahat, I and my friends in CG 1 to 4 often went out together for dinner. We also played frisbee and celebrated the birthdays of 2 persons in our group. Those were really nice memories which made me enjoy the SBW a lot. However, there was a problem - I never attempted to get to know my CG 3 group mates apart from my best friend, and as a result I did not become close to them. I was only close to my best friend and to those in CG 1 & 2. That was my comfort zone and I kept staying in there, not realising it was a problem.

On 27 October 2016, it was the last day of SBW. After that day, I and my friends in CG 1 to 4 would be separated and we felt quite sad about that. At that time, I finally realised my mistake of not building a good relationship with my CG 3 group mates. I regretted the mistake very much, but unfortunately I could no longer correct the mistake because I would no longer be in the same group with them. On 31 October 2016, the HBW began and I was reallocated to a different group. None of my CG 3 group mates was in my HBW group.

In the beginning, I did not quite like my HBW group because I missed my previous group very much and I felt my previous group was better. By the 2nd week, I started becoming closer to my HBW group mates. In the 3rd and 4th week, we were allocated the Batu Pahat and Kluang hospitals. In Batu Pahat and Kluang, we often went out for dinner together. I and my HBW group mates also worked together in performing clinical procedures when we were at the outpatient clinic of Kluang hospital. That brought us much closer together and I started to like my HBW group very much.

On 2 December 2016, the student grouping for the next semester was released. Most of students previously in CG 1 to 4 would be in Group 1, however, I would be in Group 2 instead. Only 2 of my friends in CG 1 to 4 and 2 of my friends in my HBW group would be in Group 2 with me. Had I been allocated Group 1, I would be able to reunite with my friends in CG 1 to 4 and I would also have the opportunity to rebuild a good relationship with my CG 3 group mates thus correcting my mistake previously which I regretted a lot.

I requested the lecturer in charge for a switch to Group 1, but unfortunately, he told me that the grouping could no longer be changed because it had been finalised. I was very disappointed that I would not get to be in Group 1 for the next semester. For a few days, I kept ranting on Facebook about that. Some of my friends gave me words of encouragement to help me get over the disappointment. On 9 December 2016, the HBW came to an end. I felt sad that I would be separated with my HBW group mates after that.

I had a 2 week break in December 2016. During the break, I met up with my college friends twice. I was glad that we continued to meet up after separating for 2 and a half years. On 3 January 2017, it was the start of the 2nd semester of Stage 3 which is Essential Junior Rotations (EJR). EJR consisted of Long Term Conditions (LTC), Primary Care (PC), Mental Health (MH), Women's Health (WH) and Child Health (CH). I would be in Group 2 throughout the EJR, but for each rotation I would be allocated to different sub-groups within Group 2.

My first rotation was the LTC. My LTC group mates were quite friendly and I soon became quite close to them, even though I did not know some of them previously. Some of them were my seniors who were repeating Stage 3, so they often gave me tips on the assessments. We were allocated to the Batu Pahat and Kluang hospitals in mid February 2017. In Batu Pahat and Kluang, we often went out together for lunch and dinner, so we became even closer together. I really liked my LTC group.

The grouping for the PC rotation was released on 22 February 2017. I would be reallocated to a different group where none of my LTC group mates would be in that group. Besides, I did not like someone in my PC group because I had the impression that she is very fierce. As a result, I was quite unhappy about the PC grouping. I requested the lecturer in charge for a group change, but I was told that the grouping cannot be changed. 24 February 2017 marked the end of LTC rotation and I felt sad having to separate with my LTC group mates.

On 27 February 2017, it was the start of my PC rotation. On the first day itself, I realised that I had misjudged the person in my PC group which I earlier thought is very fierce. In reality, she is not fierce and she is actually quite nice. In fact, every one in my PC group was very nice. Although I previously did not know some of them, I had no problem getting to know them. Pretty soon, I became quite close to my PC group mates and I liked the group very much. Every day, we went out for lunch together and those were really nice memories.

On 20 March 2017, the grouping for the MH rotation was released. There was once again a group change and I would be reallocated to another group. However, the good thing was that many of my friends in my LTC and PC groups would be in the same MH group with me. It was a win-win situation because I would not have to separate with my PC group mates and I would also get to reunite with my LTC group mates. I was very happy about the MH grouping. 24 March 2017 was the end of my PC rotation.

My MH rotation began on 27 March 2017. Since I had previously known every one in my MH group, I was already close to them on the first day itself. My MH group mates were very nice. Every day when we went to the hospital, we would have lunch together. On 6 April 2017, we went to watch the movie Beauty and the Beast together. I liked my MH group very much.

Due to the position of my name in the name list, it was highly likely that I would be reallocated to another group for the WH and CH rotations. The thought of that made me feel sad. I really hoped to remain in the same group as the MH rotation. I decided to meet the lecturer in charge about the grouping for WH. It turned out that he was already close to finalising the WH grouping even though there was still 4 weeks until the WH rotation, and I was indeed placed in another group. The lecturer told me that it was difficult to change the grouping at that point, but after a long talk with him he agreed to the group change.

Later, I also met the lecturer in charge for CH rotation regarding the grouping. Again, I was going to be reallocated to another group. However, the lecturer was very nice and she agreed to let me switch groups without even asking me for the reason. The whole process was done within a minute. Therefore, I would be in the same group throughout the MH, WH and CH rotations. I was really happy about that because I would not have to separate with my MH group mates.

On 2 May 2017, the grouping for the WH rotation was released, and it was confirmed that I remained in the same group as the MH rotation. I started my WH rotation on 8 May 2017.

(To be continued......)

Now, I consider my university friends and college friends to be my most important friends, and this will remain the same in the future. Unlike my primary school and secondary school friends previously, I will never ditch my college friends and university friends. Even though I was once quite close to my primary school and secondary school friends, we never had much interesting activities together and thus we had less memories, so our friendship couldn't last very long. In contrast, I have a lot of wonderful and remarkable memories with my college friends and university friends which will make our friendship long lasting.

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